My Church, the Place Where Marriage is Still Holy


I have chosen the straight but narrow path. 


I say this because I am living in a society where marriage is falling away.
Statistics show a steady decline in the number of marriages in the US.
They also show a steady increase in the ratio of divorces.
Huffington Post made a map of the USA and where divorce is the highest.
Of 10 "Divorce capitals", four of them are here in Florida.*

Marriage is under attack.
Divorce.
Affairs.
Children born out of wedlock.
Couples who move in together,
but don't ever commit.
Sexual deviance.
All of these are buzzards circling the holy institution of marriage,
waiting for it to die.
Or killing the ones that are already weak.

I took the straight and narrow path.
I met someone I knew I wanted to spend my life with.
It may have taken us a little while 
to get to that point, due to some personal issues,
but we chose the path that honors God and follows the word.
We stood before about 40 witnesses and we made a promise.
And so far, we haven't missed a beat.
We know we will make this work no matter what.
Because we don't believe in the increasingly common practice
of "trying a spouse on for size, then trading them in
when they aren't fun anymore".

What keeps us accountable?

Our community.
We are surrounded by a very uncommon type of community.
It is a Christian community. 
While Christianity is becoming more widespread,
genuine Christians are becoming less and less common.
9 years ago, I moved to this town and I found this community.
I was invited into it by others who knew it was a sound place to be.
And 5 years ago, my husband joined too. 
That is how we met.

It is a church of maybe 1000 members between two branches.
I can't be too far from accurate when I say 
that at least 95% of the members are married.
This church is very family oriented.
It embraces marriage.
It welcomes and adores babies.
The leaders here see healthy families like they are "plants",
"vines" to be more precise.
They grow green and spread far when they are nurtured.
The babies are like the fruit.
The babies grow up in the church too,
and become next generation's Christians and leaders.
The fruit makes more vines.
This church offers all kinds of marriage enrichment.
There are classes, there are small groups.
It is a solid vessel for people who want to pursue Christ,
and their families. 

Perhaps the best part of it all is the individual relationships you cultivate there.
The pastor refers to it as 
"A collection of people who decided to do life together" 
And that is where there seems to be a difference between this 
and other churches I have attended.
In the past, I've been to some who greeted me at the door and offered for me 
to attend a bible study. 
At bible study, they gave me a chance to say a prayer request.
We all prayed together.
Sometimes, a leader took care to pray about us at home.
But that was the full extent of it.
At this church, the people have built highly interpersonal relationships.
they spend time together on their own time.
They call and Facebook each other.
They look out for each other.
They are real with each other and most of them know
embarrassing little secrets about the others.
Secrets that don't get divulged unless you trust someone.
They took "accountability partners" to a whole new level.
And when there's a wedding or a new house or a new baby,
they love to celebrate.
Some will automatically take over planning a celebration.

You will never feel alone,
whether you are single,
married with normal marriage struggles
or married with children and having parenting woes.
And sometimes I wonder why more places don't have these types of biblical communities.
I think there is a reason Christians and Christian living gets labeled under 
"uncommon" "peculiar" "different" "radical"…

I'd like to introduce some of the people and their way of biblical thinking that surround me.

This is my church. It is Presbyterian, contemporary with mostly young families and it is called "Good News" because the primary focus is on equipping its members to go out into the community and the world and share the good news about Christ. 
These are the pastors and leaders, each having their gifts but the two pastors Andy and Smiley have a unique sense of humor that is a breath of fresh air in a world where many churches seem to take a "fire and brimstone" approach. 

Now, meet some of the members and friends.

This is Molly. I went to college with her, and also the church.
She often took a leadership role in the college ministry and afterwards. 
She married a young man 5 years ago who became the new college minister when the original one
moved up to "pastor" at the other branch. They have one baby girl and are expecting another one.
He recently resigned to pursue a career in seminary, and they had to move to Orlando. (1.5 hours away), but they are still highly active in this community. 
Her blog centers around healthy biblical marriage and healthy motherhood. 

This is Katie. I could be wrong about this, but she seemed to be the first in our college peer group to marry. She has been married 6 years, and was highly eager to become a wife. She loves marriage.
She also loves family and started having children 2 years ago. She now has 2 baby boys.
She is a photographer and this is how she celebrates love and marriage.
Her blog centers on many topics but mostly Christ, love and family.

This is Noah. This is only one of his professional profiles as a real estate agent. That's what he does for a living, but it probably doesn't say much about who he is in this church community. I just wanted to show you who he is. He and his wife have 4 children and a house on a piece of land that lets them own chickens and horses and gardens. Erin, his wife, home schools and feeds the children whole, healthy food. Many of the other women (especially moms) in our social group take advice from her. And she takes advice from them. It's a network of holistic Christian moms sharing. They played an important role in our preparation for marriage, in our wedding and they will continue to play an important role in nurturing us as a married couple (whether or not we have children). 
They weren't always Christians. If you ask them, they will tell you their testimony. It involved a time when they were in college and weren't believers yet and an unplanned pregnancy that lead to them searching for the right answers, starting their family and settling down. They became Christians and continued growing their family.

And of course, this is just a small sample. A cross-section of who you can find here.

As a single, there was a long period of time that 
I couldn't appreciate a community where marriage was a focus. 
This was mostly because during the five years I spent dating, 
then breaking up with, then dating my husband again, 
I was largely frustrated that people could be blessed 
with a happy marriage and I struggled just to set a wedding date. 
Over time, I saw it as an opportunity to prepare…
kind of like they were books and I was reading the lessons.
Now that I have actually gotten married,
I feel immensely blessed to be surrounded by good strong people 
who, like me, don't believe that divorce is an option.

The brochure in the picture at the top was the brochure from today's sermon.
The sermon shined a light on the fact that marriage is under attack,
but the message was "there is still hope for it". 
God hasn't given up on marriage.

Sometimes, you find a place 
like my church 
where there is living proof of that.

















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