Up To The Surface

Lessons I learned in 2018 Lesson #1: I should have been making a list of lessons I learned every year since I have been an adult and out of my parents’ house. It could have saved me some grief in my 20’s. Lesson #2: A bankruptcy may not be a good thing to have to have, but it is not the end of the world either. Life still can go on and be normal. Lesson #3: But just don’t get in debt in the first place. Lesson #4: Documents things people tell you. Save e-mails. Save voicemails. Save texts. If those people go back on their word later, you will have proof that they said one thing but did another. Without the proof, you just look like an idiot looking to pick a fight. Lesson #5: Acupuncture greatly helps with pregnancy pain and queasiness. Next baby, don’t wait until 17 weeks along to get some help with all of that. Lesson #6: You are not obligated to keep trying to help people who don’t listen to your advice. Lesson #7: You shouldn’t keep...

2018 Was all about picking up a million broken pieces from 2017. And that’s not what 2017 was supposed to be about. At the beginning of that year, I was charged up with ambition. I was working in a stable 9-to-5, but I wasn’t feeling like I had a good future there. There had been secrets that came to light in 2016 that caused discourse in my marriage. My husband and I weren’t balancing our time or energy in a healthy way (it seemed). We each had habits or were keeping things in our home That irritated the other. I didn’t have any friends at the time, Other than one girl I would talk to online who lived out of town. I was ready for an overhaul and a re-invention. That year, I decided to try something called “the Daniel Fast”. It had been taught to me by a couple from church. They wanted a baby, more than anything. So they spent three weeks on a very plain diet No meat, sugar, dairy, starch or caffeine. Along with this stric...

Oh the places you’ll (still) go......even though you had a bankruptcy. I guess I just have a knack for addressing stigmas when I decide to write. And we have so many women out there writing a blog Addressing the stigmas that involve childbearing, Like miscarriages And we have men and women both addressing cancer And divorce But I don’t often stumble across a blog that addresses Something like bankruptcy. So here it is. In 2007, when I was a junior in college, I was reading a magazine directed at young women like myself. Specifically, I was reading an article about Ways to be better at finances as a college student. And I remember it clear as day- A mini side-note on the page that suggested Applying for a credit card that paid cash back on ordinary purchases. Directly across the street from my dorm was Bank of America. Just a few days after reading the article, I walked in and sat down with a banker And went over my o...

“Sometimes the best things can come out of the worst situations” I said to my husband one night As we sat across a small table from each other, A tiny lantern glowing between us At a 1920’s themed restaurant and bar With very high ceilings. I told him that because he had asked me What I thought about the situation With a girl named Skitzii making his favorite cocktail. He didn’t like Skitzii, but the cocktail was amazing. For starters, Skitzii wasn’t even her real name. I don’t know where she got that nickname But she never would tell us her real name. Which only further compounded my husband’s theory That the “stage name” Skitzii was meant to be an “in your face” Red flag that the girl was Schitzophrenic. And he was probably right. She distrusted everyone, Lived life out of a suitcase And never stayed in one place long. Every job she had wound up firing her Or she quit after deciding people were against her. That’...

Two years ago, I was still working at my original bank job. Well, the second chapter of that, at least. I worked at the Island branch for 4 ½ years Before getting transferred to the main branch Because the company was downsizing. They didn’t need me at the smaller, quieter branch But they needed to replace two people who quit With just me. That company had a rule. The branch was open 9:00 to 1:00 on Saturday, And every employee had to take turns working the Saturdays. To make things a little easier, Since the teams had been whittled down to a skeleton crew, This main branch borrowed someone from the Island Every other Saturday. (The Island was closed, but “everyone had to do their part”). This resulted in me working every-other Saturday as well. Every Monday, this nice old lady would come in. She was tall and thin with long white hair and glasses. She was basically a textbook granny. She was one of the volunteers for the...