10 for 10

10 Years ago,
On august 28, 2005, I arrived here in
This little coastal tourist town in north Florida
After a 3 hour ride in a large rented SUV full of my stuff.
My parents helped me set up my college dorm room
Then left me here to start the next chapter of my life.
August 28 was the eve of my 18th birthday.
I didn’t get to leave my parents and my hometown
The way some kids do,
But with their financial help I did literally start a new life
On my 18th birthday
In a new town
As a college student.

After college I stayed here.

A lot has changed since I was just becoming “legal”.
I no longer have my innocence,
Which I lament all the time
But I did gain a large amount of wisdom
From my mistakes.

10 Facts about 18-year-old-me

1)    I’d been raised Christian but had only attended church since I was 15. I loved the “Christian youth scene” but I didn’t really grasp what it meant to have a personal relationship with God until after my 18th birthday.
2)    I had had a few boyfriends but nothing longer than 3 months. Marriage was still a very distant concept not even on my radar, but so was sex.
3)    I typically wore a graphic tee from Hollister or American Eagle with ripped jeans. The jeans were too tight.
4)    I only had one set of ear piercings and no tattoos
5)    I was still extremely socially awkward. I would inadvertently get in small confrontations with other girls at college because I said something that got misunderstood, I had a hard time hanging out in groups and I didn’t even say “yes sir, no sir”. My freshman year boyfriend loathed my lack of manners because he was a gentleman, something that would play a role in our breakup.
6)    I only knew the immediate surroundings I could reach on foot around my school and where my new church and grocery stores were. Jacksonville was completely uncharted territory.
7)    I had never held a job yet. That wouldn’t come until the summer after my freshman year.
8)    I had anxiety and depression, it had become apparent when I was in high school, I just didn’t know how to label it yet. The anxiety didn’t begin to interfere with my daily life until the end of freshman year.
9)    I only went to one college party where there was beer. My time in the “party scene” didn’t start until I was 20.
10) I never had a credit card. My bank account had an average of $50 in it. When I ran out of money or out of credits for the school cafĂ©, I was simply S.O.L. until my parents deposited more. Since I hadn’t learned about budgets very much yet, they would only deposit an average of $50-$100 at a time. If I wanted to buy new clothes, I had to call and ask them to deposit a little more. This is where I learned to be bargain-savvy.


10 facts about almost-28-year-old-me
 1) I learned at 18, 19 and again at 24 the value of a personal relationship with God and also the value of being committed to a church community.
2) I have been married for about 14 months at this point, but have known my husband since I was 21.
3) A little time in the “party scene” between 20-24 taught me the grass is much, much greener where God is.
4) I now have three sets of ear piercings and my cartilage done, plus a lotus tattoo with Chinese kanji.
5) I’ve worked full time at a bank for nearly 4 years.
6) My clothing style evolved from jeans, long skirts and tee shirts to a bit of a more “punk” look (age 20-23) to a bit of a more “hipster” look to what is now a more “sophisticate” with some casual in it. Since I work all day, go to church and hang out with my husband in normal settings (not party ones) my typical outfit might be fitted slacks and a nice blouse or a pair of cutoff shorts with a dressy top.
7) Having children is still far off in the future, but probably not as far as marriage was for me when I was 18 (it proved to be nearly 9 years).
8) with the help of my husband, I’ve built up some pretty sturdy credit. So much we could survive for several months on it. It’s just that we don’t want to owe all that money back.
9) Though my attendance was spotty and divided for a number of years, I’ve officially been a member of the same church for nearly 10 years and have gone regularly for 3.
10) Between 18 and 24, I moved a total of 10 times. I lived in different dorm rooms, back at home for a few months, in a condo as the roommate, in a house as the roommate, in an efficiency for a short time, in my own overpriced but ghetto apartment, in a house where I was ditched by the other person and left to find quick and cheap roommates, and now my own condo. I moved into that condo at 24 alone, had a roommate, then later my husband moved in when we were married. I’ve now broken that cycle of being in limbo by staying in that same place for nearly 4 years.




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