2015 was a long, hard year
I won't sugar-coat it.
If every new year was actually a baby
like that antiquated metaphor about father time and baby new year,
2015 came into the world with complications
and the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck.
Maybe not for everyone, but certainly for my husband and I.
We rang it in quietly on my parents couch, with the ball drop broadcast
on an ipad.
There was no ticker-tape parade or getting dolled up.
And that's ok.
The reason we were there and not in Georgia with his family
celebrating with lots of champagne at his older sister's huge house
was because we needed a quiet getaway.
Just days before the new-year,
Both my husband and I received the terrible news that
our incomes were possibly in jeopardy.
There was no clear-cut "yes" or "no" about either situation.
Mine was because of an unfortunate and possibly avoidable
mistake at work.
His was because he is paid by the VA to go to school
and paid an allowance every month until his career starts
but he was "up for review".
This meant they could determine they didn't need to pay him anymore.
One of the first days in January, we made a tedious 80 mile drive
through winding back roads and one-traffic-light towns
to get to Gainesville
so I could keep him company on the nerve-wracking day he went to his
interview with VA officials who would decide if he needed his pay or not
based on his response to a series of questions about his recovery since
he's been out of the military, and his still- existing problems.
It would take 6 weeks to get the answer back.
His income was safe.
I heard nothing about my mistake at work until March.
I don't know why it took HR so long to make a decision,
but after a few weeks went by I was able to put two and two together
on my own
that they were not going to terminate me.
I would still have to live down the mistake I made.
I would face the HR-administered disciplinary action
and I would move forward.
Many struggles stood in my path and his this year,
even after those were behind us.
When 2015 began, I expected to take on and accomplish many things.
Missing opportunities at work because of a mistake was not one of them.
Trying to get along with a coworker who had a hot temper,
until he left in July, was not one of them.
Working for two months with just two coworkers
after one had left and the other broke her ankle in a freak accident
was not one of them.
Our air-conditioner breaking for nearly a week in the hottest month
of the year was not one of them.
Struggling to work through differences with my husband was not one of them.
My husband deciding half-way through his third semester that this major
and this school were not right for him and he would need to change it all in 2016
was not one of them.
Needing a root-canal was not one of them.
Paying for a large amount of work on both cars was not one of them.
Leaving one campus of my church to go to the other one was not one of them.
Leaving my usual small group and social circle in the process was not one of them.
Before you think it was all misfortune and anxiety-inducing twists and turns,
allow me to shed some light on the positives.
We celebrated one year married. The year did have unexpected strains but we made it to celebrate that year in June. This is more than can be said for many couples each year, especially celebrities.
We celebrated it in Venice, Florida. One of our favorite places.
That same week, we brought home a dog.
That was not planned, not even discussed until the day it happened.
We were considering a kitten, but after several hours of visiting adoption events
we didn't see one that seemed right for us.
My husband then saw the fluffy brown dog at the entrance of the store,
and wanted him right away. Now we have a cocker spaniel,
something that comes with trials of its own, but he is much needed therapy
for my husband and is the closest thing to a child for me for the time being.
The close call with possibly not having any income prompted us to do research
that lead to us finding out we qualified for consolidation loans for the debt we have.
Freeing up credit that was tied up is not an ideal way to pay bills
but we could in a jam. It is just a tad bit liberating.
The broken air conditioner drove us to stay somewhere cool
and the most ideal situation was to drive out to his parents' home in Palm Coast.
Five nights of being with family was good for us.
We had been disagreeing on things until we had a chance to reset.
The time spent working in an understaffed office taught me to think on my toes
and be more resilient.
I missed some opportunities this year, but I did get a letter from one of the higher ups
recognizing my willingness to put in the overtime needed to keep up with work
being understaffed.
All of the unexpected expenses- root canal and crown, car parts, dog illnesses-
could have been put on newly-cleared credit lines but it gave my parents a chance
to step in. This was not unexpected, but to still have this option at age 28
is a blessing. More than can be said for most young adults past age 18.
My husband hasn't officially enrolled at the university he will attend next year just yet
but at least he knows what he wants most.
It might even open doors for me.
We had a chance to go to two resorts this year on our own vacation time,
and we took a trip to Atlanta to see his older sister remarry.
It was a key bonding experience for his family and gave him a chance to see his brother
who moved to Colorado last year.
I also attended the wedding of an old friend whom I've known for a long time.
I didn't even know about that wedding until the summer.
It was a chance to be a part of something important for a friend and a chance to
reconnect with another old friend whom I hadn't seen in over a decade.
Reconnecting with him was a blessing.
He is a unique young man who chose a life without romantic relationships
but he is a trustworthy individual who wouldn't impose on a married woman and
who I could trust when I was just a teen not to try anything funny.
It was crucial to be reminded of this past friendship because it was a reminder
that not every male friend from my past had an alterior motive or a plan to hurt me.
It was a bit of spiritual healing I guess.
So was changing the campus where I attended church.
My husband felt like he needed something "fresh and new"
without completely uprooting our involvement in a Christian Community.
So we began attending the north campus instead of the south.
We met some new friends and changed small groups.
It opened my mind a little bit.
It may be one large church community but with two very different pastors
and two very different parts of town, there is a different dynamic.
I still miss my friends at the south campus and will still visit from time to time.
I don't know what next year will hold.
It's possible it could be a struggle too
depending on which school my husband chooses and how it effects our life.
Money will be tighter.
There won't be resorts or expensive weekends.
It will be a year of simplicity, spent close to home.
There may be a new car, but there most likely won't be a permanent house.
There could be a move.
There could be adjusting to do.
But there will be plenty of positive things next year too.
In conclusion,
If 2015 really was a baby with a complicated start to life,
it managed to beat the odds and live a normal life like other babies.
There is plenty of hope.
If every new year was actually a baby
like that antiquated metaphor about father time and baby new year,
2015 came into the world with complications
and the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck.
Maybe not for everyone, but certainly for my husband and I.
We rang it in quietly on my parents couch, with the ball drop broadcast
on an ipad.
There was no ticker-tape parade or getting dolled up.
And that's ok.
The reason we were there and not in Georgia with his family
celebrating with lots of champagne at his older sister's huge house
was because we needed a quiet getaway.
Just days before the new-year,
Both my husband and I received the terrible news that
our incomes were possibly in jeopardy.
There was no clear-cut "yes" or "no" about either situation.
Mine was because of an unfortunate and possibly avoidable
mistake at work.
His was because he is paid by the VA to go to school
and paid an allowance every month until his career starts
but he was "up for review".
This meant they could determine they didn't need to pay him anymore.
One of the first days in January, we made a tedious 80 mile drive
through winding back roads and one-traffic-light towns
to get to Gainesville
so I could keep him company on the nerve-wracking day he went to his
interview with VA officials who would decide if he needed his pay or not
based on his response to a series of questions about his recovery since
he's been out of the military, and his still- existing problems.
It would take 6 weeks to get the answer back.
His income was safe.
I heard nothing about my mistake at work until March.
I don't know why it took HR so long to make a decision,
but after a few weeks went by I was able to put two and two together
on my own
that they were not going to terminate me.
I would still have to live down the mistake I made.
I would face the HR-administered disciplinary action
and I would move forward.
Many struggles stood in my path and his this year,
even after those were behind us.
When 2015 began, I expected to take on and accomplish many things.
Missing opportunities at work because of a mistake was not one of them.
Trying to get along with a coworker who had a hot temper,
until he left in July, was not one of them.
Working for two months with just two coworkers
after one had left and the other broke her ankle in a freak accident
was not one of them.
Our air-conditioner breaking for nearly a week in the hottest month
of the year was not one of them.
Struggling to work through differences with my husband was not one of them.
My husband deciding half-way through his third semester that this major
and this school were not right for him and he would need to change it all in 2016
was not one of them.
Needing a root-canal was not one of them.
Paying for a large amount of work on both cars was not one of them.
Leaving one campus of my church to go to the other one was not one of them.
Leaving my usual small group and social circle in the process was not one of them.
Before you think it was all misfortune and anxiety-inducing twists and turns,
allow me to shed some light on the positives.
We celebrated one year married. The year did have unexpected strains but we made it to celebrate that year in June. This is more than can be said for many couples each year, especially celebrities.
We celebrated it in Venice, Florida. One of our favorite places.
That same week, we brought home a dog.
That was not planned, not even discussed until the day it happened.
We were considering a kitten, but after several hours of visiting adoption events
we didn't see one that seemed right for us.
My husband then saw the fluffy brown dog at the entrance of the store,
and wanted him right away. Now we have a cocker spaniel,
something that comes with trials of its own, but he is much needed therapy
for my husband and is the closest thing to a child for me for the time being.
The close call with possibly not having any income prompted us to do research
that lead to us finding out we qualified for consolidation loans for the debt we have.
Freeing up credit that was tied up is not an ideal way to pay bills
but we could in a jam. It is just a tad bit liberating.
The broken air conditioner drove us to stay somewhere cool
and the most ideal situation was to drive out to his parents' home in Palm Coast.
Five nights of being with family was good for us.
We had been disagreeing on things until we had a chance to reset.
The time spent working in an understaffed office taught me to think on my toes
and be more resilient.
I missed some opportunities this year, but I did get a letter from one of the higher ups
recognizing my willingness to put in the overtime needed to keep up with work
being understaffed.
All of the unexpected expenses- root canal and crown, car parts, dog illnesses-
could have been put on newly-cleared credit lines but it gave my parents a chance
to step in. This was not unexpected, but to still have this option at age 28
is a blessing. More than can be said for most young adults past age 18.
My husband hasn't officially enrolled at the university he will attend next year just yet
but at least he knows what he wants most.
It might even open doors for me.
We had a chance to go to two resorts this year on our own vacation time,
and we took a trip to Atlanta to see his older sister remarry.
It was a key bonding experience for his family and gave him a chance to see his brother
who moved to Colorado last year.
I also attended the wedding of an old friend whom I've known for a long time.
I didn't even know about that wedding until the summer.
It was a chance to be a part of something important for a friend and a chance to
reconnect with another old friend whom I hadn't seen in over a decade.
Reconnecting with him was a blessing.
He is a unique young man who chose a life without romantic relationships
but he is a trustworthy individual who wouldn't impose on a married woman and
who I could trust when I was just a teen not to try anything funny.
It was crucial to be reminded of this past friendship because it was a reminder
that not every male friend from my past had an alterior motive or a plan to hurt me.
It was a bit of spiritual healing I guess.
So was changing the campus where I attended church.
My husband felt like he needed something "fresh and new"
without completely uprooting our involvement in a Christian Community.
So we began attending the north campus instead of the south.
We met some new friends and changed small groups.
It opened my mind a little bit.
It may be one large church community but with two very different pastors
and two very different parts of town, there is a different dynamic.
I still miss my friends at the south campus and will still visit from time to time.
I don't know what next year will hold.
It's possible it could be a struggle too
depending on which school my husband chooses and how it effects our life.
Money will be tighter.
There won't be resorts or expensive weekends.
It will be a year of simplicity, spent close to home.
There may be a new car, but there most likely won't be a permanent house.
There could be a move.
There could be adjusting to do.
But there will be plenty of positive things next year too.
In conclusion,
If 2015 really was a baby with a complicated start to life,
it managed to beat the odds and live a normal life like other babies.
There is plenty of hope.
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