My Message to the Class of 2019

My message to the class of 2019

First of all, I never wrote a message to the “class of” anything before.

But this year is special.

2019 marks 10 long but eventful years since I myself crossed the stage

and received the little piece of paper that meant I had a college degree.

Here’s the thing though: When I did that, I had nothing going for me in my life.

My best friend at the time was preparing to move to New York City.

The man I had been dating off and on had been lying to me and I broke up with him.

I was basically being forced out of my home, the little house that I had been invited to join the lease on with two other girls one year before.

They now decided that they didn’t like me and wanted their best friend to live in my old room.

I was getting ready to move my things into the tiniest, oldest and grossest efficiency

(Leaky ceiling, brown carpet, fleas because last renter had a cat) I could find, because it was all I could afford.

I had no prospects for a career, but I was under pressure to believe that I should have some. I only had a part-time retail job that I would be let go from days later.

My health was poor due to my lack of proper care for it.

My attitude and outlook on life was even more poor: I was suffering from crippling depression.

And that’s what brings me to my message to those getting ready to go off to college,

and those who are just now wrapping up.

If you are getting ready to move out of mom’s house and dive headlong into the college experience, I have eight pieces of advice for YOU.

1)   Pick you major and dig your heels in EARLY. Early like freshman or sophomore year. Don’t change it three times and ultimately land on your “I guess this will do” pick half-way through senior year. You won’t likely have much of a career prospect waiting for you if you do. If you have a family friend back home who promised to hire you, that’s one thing. But if you have a broad horizon with no clear path yet, the best thing you can do is spend at least three of the four years immersing yourself in that major and everything that comes with it. That means don’t just take the necessary classes. Take the electives. Get a minor that goes hand-in-hand with it and pour your heart into that too. Join the campus extracurriculars that go along with said major. If it’s art or theater, try to get out on stage or get your work out there on social media. If it’s teaching or law or medicine, get at least one internship over the course of four years. Give it your all like it’s your real job, even if it’s not for pay or it’s only for a few months. Join study groups who can help you do better in those tougher classes. Try to get a scholarship or honors society induction or at least dean’s list.

2)   If you must change majors, really put in a large amount of thought and prayer. Don’t treat it like it’s the Chick-fil-A drive-through and say “ooh I want THAT”. Be sure you know what you’re getting into and how much it sets you back changing your original plan.

3)   I know you’re free now from your parents’ rules, but don’t waste all your time partying. Go to a few house parties to socialize now and then. Go to networking events. Meet people. But don’t spend every weekend or week night at the bars and keggers. Or even at non-alcoholic events like video-gaming parties and Netflix marathons. The point I’m trying to make is don’t waste all of your free time on short-term thrills. Go out once a week to get a break from the routine but put as much energy as you can into studying and really KNOWING the material for your major.

4)   Invest yourself in the community. Sure, it might be “just your college town” and you may receive a job offer in another city later on, but you never know what can happen.  Get to know the community outside your campus. Go to a local church. Frequent small businesses and restaurants enough to meet the owners and other regulars. Join Facebook groups that keep you up on the current events in the area. Vote. Volunteer. You may end up staying long term and connections you make may help you find a career and even a life that you can settle down into.

5)   Don’t date too much. If you meet someone very special and fall in love and spend college with them, kudos. But odds are, you won’t meet that person until after school is out. Keep opposite sex friends, they may become romantic interests later. But don’t make too much of a fuss of trying to have a boyfriend or girlfriend just for the sake of having someone around or saying you got romantic experience in college. It will be there. Honestly, most of us aren’t mature enough to really be ready for marriage and children until nearly our 30’s. It may take a few years of dating the right people to find that person, but that’s really a quest for when you’ve got your good paying job (and therefore your weekly routine) tied down and finances in the bank. Focus on excelling in school and don’t waste time getting your heart broken. It will only slow you down.

6)   Make a few good lasting friendships. In a world where there seems to be a quest to have “the largest social media following”, it might sound contradictory to suggest just finding two or three best friends but that really is what you need in your 20’s: a close-knit support system that will help you through to graduation, and hopefully beyond. If you all land in the same city or stay in the your college town, they could be your support system through meeting your spouse, buying a home, having a family and beyond.

7)   Have SOME kind of after-college plan, even if it doesn’t involve your degree just yet.  This one might not apply to everyone. For me, a public relations major, there was an expectation that I would make a speech in front of a whole class and some professors telling them what I planned to do after graduation. The speech was critiqued and questions were asked that I had to have answers for. I was in a bad spot at the time and got up to the podium, shook, sweat, and stuttered. I had nothing. I did not do well, and I hope I was not used as an example of what “not to do” for future classes, but I may have been. Have a plan. Just in case you are asked to make a speech at the end, or a class in your final semester requires a submitted essay about your plans, have one. Even if you are going to go back to your hometown and work for your dad’s company until you save up enough to move to California, just have a plan.

8)   Save Money. I can’t stress this enough. If you are blessed enough to have a scholarship or family paying for your tuition, don’t waste part time job money on frivolous things. Pack it away. Don’t run up credit card bills. Keep one card and pay it off each month to build credit. You just don’t know what will happen right after school or how long it will take to find a “Real” job.

This advice I bring to you from someone who learned the hard way. I didn’t do those things I listed above. Or I only did the minimum and could have done much better. But before you think it was all bad news for me....

God was right there. He had me in his hand, and He had a plan for me all along. He knew I would be selfish and immature in college and not have my life together at 21. But through much prayer, He showed me things about myself and gave me things I desired. Even some I didn’t know I needed.

In June 2009, Two months after I walked away from college empty-handed (save for the piece of paper), I met the man I would date all that Summer, stay with through many trials and ultimately marry in 2014.

In the fall of 2011, two-and-a-half years after completing college, my resume of sales and retail was good enough to have me hired at a bank as a teller. Despite needing much training and practice, I would manage to stay with that company, moving around a bit, for nearly six years. Having six years of full-time banking on my resume would make it possible for me to find another job at another bank that was a few steps up from my first teller job. The possibilities are endless from there. And yes, both have paid holidays, vacation time, benefits and bonuses.

In the fall of 2018, I would become a mother to a beautiful baby boy.

Though I had many years of financial troubles, and still rent a condo to this day, I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My husband is working to earn his degree and we are on our way to financial success. In the mean time, I have successfully lived in this same town where I went to school since 2005. In fourteen years, I have seen many friends come and go, but have met many wonderful people and done a great deal of networking.

And this brings me to my message to the COLLEGE class of 2019 ...

If you made some of (or ALL of) The same mistakes I did, take comfort. If you didn’t make the mistakes, but still wound up with less than you believed you would, take comfort. Have faith, lean on God, and don’t give up. The economy for you, now, is much better than it was for me. I left college and walked right into the 2009 recession. There were only a small handful of part-time dead-end jobs waiting for the graduate with no career experience. There are far more opportunities for you now. But even if you have a job lined up, and you have an ache in your heart because you didn’t find “the one”... or your best friends moved across the country...or you REALLY want to become a mother and there’s no prospect of that all coming together for you anytime soon... Have no fear. It is all going to come together as it was meant to. You are going to have a wonderful future. The whole point of this message was to tell you this: Don’t get wrapped up in fleeting things and be lazy. Be diligent in chasing your dreams and working towards that future. God’s got you, but your path could be at least 50% less bumpy getting there if you keep Him and that vision in your sights.

Go forth and prosper, class of 2019.

Me, at my cap and gown ceremony for Flagler College, class of 2009