Moving Forward
I have lived my entire life in one of only two places.
Lakeland, Florida or St. Augustine, Florida.
for eighteen years on the nose, I was a Lakelander.
I grew up walking on Florida Southern College's campus
for recreation.
I grew up shopping in Lakeland Square Mall
I grew up with Polk County's rural roads and warm weather.
Then, right on the eve of my 18th birthday,
I moved to St. Augustine for college.
For eight and a half years now, I have lived on the first coast.
I see boats and marinas daily, walk through areas
that are colorful with Spanish design. The winters here
have more icy mornings and nor-easters are common.
The nearest city is Jacksonville, and the southern half of it
is also part of my "territory".
I've never known what it's like to spend more than
a short vacation in any other state or region of Florida.
Since I haven't moved around much,
the idea that one day I could have to say goodbye
to this town and to the streets and stores and people
and parks and sights that I know
is daunting.
And then there is the man that I love.
We have many things in common, but we have many differences too.
As far as childhoods go, the only things we really had in common
were being raised with Christian values and having both sets of our parents stay together,
still alive and well to this day...
He had siblings. I had none.
He lived in many places.
In their many archives of family memories are stories and pictures from temporary homes
in California, Hawaii, Maryland, North Carolina, Texas, here in Florida and possibly a few others.
He's seen snow days, gone to schools where he was the only white child and lived in quarters that ranged from a large hotel suite shared with his parents and two little siblings to old two-story homes and everything in between.
He's been here in north florida the longest out of anywhere.
And sometimes, he gets a bit of wander lust.
Instead of getting in his car and taking a road trip, he saves his money
and daydreams about packing up and moving somewhere new in a few years.
We want to tie the knot and settle down together.
…but the other day, he expressed doubt in me.
We were driving somewhere in the car and out of the blue,
he said "What if I want to leave St. Augustine, and we are married,
and you don't want to leave? Will I be stuck here?"
It's not the first time he's brought this up.
A few years ago, he was looking at schools up north.
He ruled it out, however, when he realized the expenses
and that he could get what he needed from the VA paying
for him to attend local universities.
Still, the dream of leaving didn't die off.
That day, when he asked me that,
I actually felt irritated with him.
Not for his wanting to move someday,
but for the fact that he thinks I'd never leave.
It's true, I have gotten used to and put roots down, here.
Roots that tie me into a church, a community and some
good friendships.
He asked if because my friends were here, I'd refuse to let go
and move forward for our future.
Somehow that irritated me.
Of course I realize settling down with a man means
I must go where God calls us as a unit.
That day, however, I couldn't think of the right response for him.
I fumbled with my thoughts and gave him a spiel about
"knowing this was all temporary"
and then I kept fumbling looking for examples.
I didn't really feel any solid, confident answer to counteract his doubt.
That's when I got what I thought was a "nudge" from God.
Only a couple of days later, on Sunday, we went to church.
Before the sermon, the pastor made an announcement.
He let us know that the college minister, who is our age and
married with one daughter and another on the way,
has enjoyed his eight or so years at our church
(he came here with the same Flagler College freshman class that I did)
and he's enjoyed about 2-3 years of being the college minister,
but he has a calling to go to seminary school in Orlando now.
He'll be moving there in a month with his wife and babies.
This married couple is very popular in our church.
They are popular with the church, and they are popular with the peer group
in the Christian community that ties together our church with about three others.
They are leaders, role models and good friends with many people.
Their best friends are here.
In fact, her childhood best friend that she brought with her from Tampa when they left
high school to go to Flagler is here with her husband and they own a house.
(meaning they aren't going anywhere for awhile).
I left my best friend behind when I moved here.
I moved here for an exciting new start.
And my man thinks I wouldn't say goodbye to my friends to start a new chapter in our life.
That's when it all came flooding back to me.
This couple isn't the first since I've been here.
When I was in college, a popular guy joined the military and got stationed in Alaska.
A few years later, a girl that everyone loved got a calling to go to Japan.
Somewhere along the way, they started a relationship long distance
and married a few years later.
Now they live in Virginia.
One Sunday, a family that had some leadership roles in the church stood up on stage
and told everyone that they were going to Colorado for a job
but there was a great church waiting for them out there.
A few dynamic college students came and went within a year or two,
doing some great work to raise money for missions before moving on.
Another highly popular couple (in fact, maybe the most popular couple)
in our peer group had to move to New Jersey to live with family for six months
before unexpectedly finding a means to come back.
Still another decided it was best to move closer to family and buy a house in time
to have their first child….in Louisiana.
And there are countless others who have simply been scattered around the state.
Some are in Tampa now.
Some are in Orlando.
A few are in Jacksonville.
They joined another church and are doing their own thing.
I finally found my answer.
If these important members of our community can pack up and leave,
why wouldn't I? God can call anyone to go anywhere,
especially when it comes to married couples who are praying
for the right career to come along so they can settle down.
If my future husband sincerely feels that his ideal job (and possibly mine)
are waiting for us in another city, and God is nudging us to go…
…why should I insist on us staying here?
I almost felt like thanking this couple, who are friends of mine,
for working up the courage to move away.
It gave me the motivation I needed to keep my heart open
to my permanent home NOT being this coastal town I've come to know and love,
but perhaps something bigger and better.
And the moment I got that motivation, my love got his peace of mind.
He thinks that it could be two or three years from now.
And it may be Orlando, just like them.
Orlando is about 100 miles from here, and inland.
It is en route to Lakeland and very familiar.
But it could be somewhere else entirely.
It still makes me sad to think I may have to move on from my beaches
and instead settle into a bigger city, whether or not I've been there before.
But thanks to others who have gone before me, I know if they can do it I can.
And if God calls us, I will be ready.
Lakeland, Florida or St. Augustine, Florida.
for eighteen years on the nose, I was a Lakelander.
I grew up walking on Florida Southern College's campus
for recreation.
I grew up shopping in Lakeland Square Mall
I grew up with Polk County's rural roads and warm weather.
Then, right on the eve of my 18th birthday,
I moved to St. Augustine for college.
For eight and a half years now, I have lived on the first coast.
I see boats and marinas daily, walk through areas
that are colorful with Spanish design. The winters here
have more icy mornings and nor-easters are common.
The nearest city is Jacksonville, and the southern half of it
is also part of my "territory".
I've never known what it's like to spend more than
a short vacation in any other state or region of Florida.
Since I haven't moved around much,
the idea that one day I could have to say goodbye
to this town and to the streets and stores and people
and parks and sights that I know
is daunting.
And then there is the man that I love.
We have many things in common, but we have many differences too.
As far as childhoods go, the only things we really had in common
were being raised with Christian values and having both sets of our parents stay together,
still alive and well to this day...
He had siblings. I had none.
He lived in many places.
In their many archives of family memories are stories and pictures from temporary homes
in California, Hawaii, Maryland, North Carolina, Texas, here in Florida and possibly a few others.
He's seen snow days, gone to schools where he was the only white child and lived in quarters that ranged from a large hotel suite shared with his parents and two little siblings to old two-story homes and everything in between.
He's been here in north florida the longest out of anywhere.
And sometimes, he gets a bit of wander lust.
Instead of getting in his car and taking a road trip, he saves his money
and daydreams about packing up and moving somewhere new in a few years.
We want to tie the knot and settle down together.
…but the other day, he expressed doubt in me.
We were driving somewhere in the car and out of the blue,
he said "What if I want to leave St. Augustine, and we are married,
and you don't want to leave? Will I be stuck here?"
It's not the first time he's brought this up.
A few years ago, he was looking at schools up north.
He ruled it out, however, when he realized the expenses
and that he could get what he needed from the VA paying
for him to attend local universities.
Still, the dream of leaving didn't die off.
That day, when he asked me that,
I actually felt irritated with him.
Not for his wanting to move someday,
but for the fact that he thinks I'd never leave.
It's true, I have gotten used to and put roots down, here.
Roots that tie me into a church, a community and some
good friendships.
He asked if because my friends were here, I'd refuse to let go
and move forward for our future.
Somehow that irritated me.
Of course I realize settling down with a man means
I must go where God calls us as a unit.
That day, however, I couldn't think of the right response for him.
I fumbled with my thoughts and gave him a spiel about
"knowing this was all temporary"
and then I kept fumbling looking for examples.
I didn't really feel any solid, confident answer to counteract his doubt.
That's when I got what I thought was a "nudge" from God.
Only a couple of days later, on Sunday, we went to church.
Before the sermon, the pastor made an announcement.
He let us know that the college minister, who is our age and
married with one daughter and another on the way,
has enjoyed his eight or so years at our church
(he came here with the same Flagler College freshman class that I did)
and he's enjoyed about 2-3 years of being the college minister,
but he has a calling to go to seminary school in Orlando now.
He'll be moving there in a month with his wife and babies.
This married couple is very popular in our church.
They are popular with the church, and they are popular with the peer group
in the Christian community that ties together our church with about three others.
They are leaders, role models and good friends with many people.
Their best friends are here.
In fact, her childhood best friend that she brought with her from Tampa when they left
high school to go to Flagler is here with her husband and they own a house.
(meaning they aren't going anywhere for awhile).
I left my best friend behind when I moved here.
I moved here for an exciting new start.
And my man thinks I wouldn't say goodbye to my friends to start a new chapter in our life.
That's when it all came flooding back to me.
This couple isn't the first since I've been here.
When I was in college, a popular guy joined the military and got stationed in Alaska.
A few years later, a girl that everyone loved got a calling to go to Japan.
Somewhere along the way, they started a relationship long distance
and married a few years later.
Now they live in Virginia.
One Sunday, a family that had some leadership roles in the church stood up on stage
and told everyone that they were going to Colorado for a job
but there was a great church waiting for them out there.
A few dynamic college students came and went within a year or two,
doing some great work to raise money for missions before moving on.
Another highly popular couple (in fact, maybe the most popular couple)
in our peer group had to move to New Jersey to live with family for six months
before unexpectedly finding a means to come back.
Still another decided it was best to move closer to family and buy a house in time
to have their first child….in Louisiana.
And there are countless others who have simply been scattered around the state.
Some are in Tampa now.
Some are in Orlando.
A few are in Jacksonville.
They joined another church and are doing their own thing.
I finally found my answer.
If these important members of our community can pack up and leave,
why wouldn't I? God can call anyone to go anywhere,
especially when it comes to married couples who are praying
for the right career to come along so they can settle down.
If my future husband sincerely feels that his ideal job (and possibly mine)
are waiting for us in another city, and God is nudging us to go…
…why should I insist on us staying here?
I almost felt like thanking this couple, who are friends of mine,
for working up the courage to move away.
It gave me the motivation I needed to keep my heart open
to my permanent home NOT being this coastal town I've come to know and love,
but perhaps something bigger and better.
And the moment I got that motivation, my love got his peace of mind.
He thinks that it could be two or three years from now.
And it may be Orlando, just like them.
Orlando is about 100 miles from here, and inland.
It is en route to Lakeland and very familiar.
But it could be somewhere else entirely.
It still makes me sad to think I may have to move on from my beaches
and instead settle into a bigger city, whether or not I've been there before.
But thanks to others who have gone before me, I know if they can do it I can.
And if God calls us, I will be ready.
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