How I Will Stay Sane

 How I will keep my sanity

A guide to the ways that I make the effort every day 

to keep my mental health in check

as a busy mom, wife and homemaker with a tendency 

to suffer from anxiety and depression.

 

Though having proper help from a therapist can be very good, even crucial for you, you don’t have to shell out hundreds of dollars every month to stay sane when you’re a mom. 

Even if you’re a mom who’s not quite “okay”. 

So many predispositions can be managed with 

the proper amount of self care. 

So here’s my list.

 

1.    I eat a balanced diet. This doesn’t mean “no treats”. It just means I balance a small amount of the not-so-healthy indulgences with a large amount of healthier choices when I eat. A single day’s eating for me might consist of five or six servings of fruits and vegetables, three servings of protein like chicken or beef and a serving of healthy carbs like rice...but also a little piece of chocolate or a serving of comfort food. I also try to be gluten free, though I can eat a small amount of it. This is more to prevent an inflammatory response in my body than anything else.

 

2.    I make time for God every day. I’m not particularly ambitious most of the time, so I haven’t had any luck rising at 5am to read the bible for an hour before my children wake up. In fact, with my luck, my toddler (the one that demands my attention the most) would hear me and wake up even earlier. That could change someday. In the mean time, I found a way to “read” the word and books by others who read the word. I play it in my car. There is seldom a day when I don’t get out and go somewhere, and the time in the car is a perfect opportunity to play a chapter from the gospel on my bible app, over the car stereo system. I also listen to Audibles of good books such as “Kisses From Katie”, “1000 Gifts”, “A Praying Life” and other great books by Christian writers. But I’m not going to give up on making time for actual reading. Soon, I plan to do a daily devotional that is on paper. Most likely, I will get to it when my children take a nap.

 

3.    I make time for fitness every week. It’s not hard core like Crossfit. And it’s not the same time frame on the same day every week. But three times per week, I make the effort to either get to the gym if my husband can watch the kids after work OR I do little full body home workouts. There is a plethora of fitness ideas on YouTube. Exercise boosts endorphins, and endorphins make you feel happy.

 

4.     I treat myself. This one my husband will try to argue with, and I’m trying to compromise so that we are both happy. Every day, especially on days that I feel down and out, I treat myself in some small way. Maybe it’s a latte or some chocolate, but if my husband is putting pressure on me about having a tighter budget, it could be something like asking him to watch the kids for a short while so I can walk on the beach for 15 minutes or I might indulge myself some window shopping. Daydreaming about cute fashion or the décor for our future home (that we haven’t bought yet) is one way I relax. Other people might like to sleep or read a novel.

 

5.    I establish “happy places”.  Happy places can by actual places you can go in a short time, or they can be in your mind. I find, for best results, they need to be actual real places separate from where you do daily activities that can bring you stress. (Unless you really love your kitchen THAT MUCH). They should also be somewhere that you could physically go to if you had the time on a normal day or week. While Hawaii might be a happy place for you, it’s not a practical one if you live in Florida and are on a budget. For me, there are three: I always like our local beaches, especially quiet ones further north or south of town. I like a town called Amelia Island and a resort in that area called Omni, but that’s a happy place that I might only get to once a year. For some reason (don’t ask why), I like Whole Foods. It is a 30 minute drive away, and it is in a quiet plaza with a good second hand clothing store that I also like. I can’t remember how Whole Foods became a happy place for me, but if I’ve had a bad week, I can go there and pick up a lunch plate from the hot bar and eat it there in their mostly serene little café area. I also pick up specialty items there that I can’t find at our local grocery stores. At one point, they were the only store that sold the black-label GT’s kombucha. 

 

6.    I make night time sleep a priority. I don’t nap. It’s hard for me to fall asleep during the daytime on a normal day. I can only do that if I am sick or extremely exhausted because maybe I only got four broken hours of sleep at night, and normally that doesn’t happen unless I am sick and a symptom is keeping me awake. Since I don’t have time or make time to sleep during the day, I make a priority of sleeping at night. You’d think this would be impossible with a small baby. It is hard, but I take some easy steps to make sure I get sleep otherwise. 

 

o   I go to bed around the same time every weeknight- 10 p.m. and only an hour later on weekends.

o   I wake up around the same time every weekday morning, usually 6 or 6:30 a.m. and always no later than 7:30 on the weekend.

o   I make sure to do what I need to, to have a dream every night. If I don’t dream, I don’t feel rested the next day. This can mean white noise, a colder temperature in the house, or a gentle sleep aid like Unisom. 

o   I am mindful of sugar and caffeine intake.

o   I do not allow myself to binge on a television show or video game. This means I never accidentally find myself still doing an activity at 1am. 

o   I retreat to my bedroom at least an hour before I need to sleep. I just take the baby with me.

o   I have had to get my husband into the habit of not bringing up something stressful that could cause a big argument right at bedtime.

 

 

7.    I utilize social media for help. Some people are blessed enough to have a close-knit group of friends that they can always turn to for support. I have two in my hometown that I talk to in a group chat on messenger regularly. But I don’t have a large group that can all come over and commiserate with me when I’m struggling. Thankfully there are Facebook groups for just about every cause, common interest and walk of life. I joined a boy moms group and later a stay-at-home moms group. These groups are massive and countrywide. I am also in a local moms group. If I feel like I need support with something mom-related, or sometimes something woman-related, I can post it on the groups and get dozens of comments that range from people trying to relate all the way to expert advice. Of course, this doesn’t take the place of getting medical advice from a real doctor. But it does take the place of not having that close-knit group of reliable friends. 

 

 

Now that you know the top seven ways that I keep myself from having a mental breakdown, I’ll let you in on a little secret....

 

....I was practicing them BEFORE I was a stay-at-home mom. 

A few years before. 

They are adaptable really in any kind of lifestyle. 

In fact, they are useful even if 

you’re a single woman with no husband or kids 

who is just leading a very hectic life with a career!

But don’t just take my word for it... Try it!