Coming back from the point of no return

In summer 2011,

We thought we were marriage bound,

Until our already troubled love careened off a cliff,

Crashed and burned…. and seemingly crossed the point of no return.

…Then God did the “impossible”: He turned everything around

 and gave us another chance.

Before I get more into that story,

Allow me to partially tell another story.

It is not my own, nor is it that of a good friend.

It is a story from a Christian living book called “Boy Meets Girl”,

written by Joshua Harris. It is partly a collection of relevant short-stories,

partially a technical manual on the “art” of courtship

and Christian conservative romance.

I am going to give him complete faith that

The short stories about people he knew who fell in love

Are true accounts of real people’s lives.

Of the dozen or so that he referenced in the book,

There is one that feels like it hits home:

The romance of Christy and Rich.

It begins on page 33 of the book, with Rich digging a hole in

Christy’s yard. He was burying a box at 3am.

Why was he doing this?

Because a few years earlier, the two had met at youth group

And eventually fallen in love even though they were only

In high school.

Christy’s father, being older and wiser, knew it wasn’t

God’s timing for them to have a serious relationship.

They were so young and had studies to focus on.

So he asked the couple to stop seeing each other.

For awhile, they stayed friends.

Then they started a secret relationship.

During that time, they secretly exchanged dozens of love letters.

One day, they were caught when her father overhead a phone conversation.

He sat down with them and once again,

They were told to go separate ways, 100%.

She gave him back all his love letters, and they went to two separate colleges.

The end?

Hardly.

Before he left town, he buried a “treasure chest” of love letters in her yard,

Including one she hadn’t seen before.

After about a year and a half, Christy still wasn’t over Rich.

She talked to her parents and her dad talked to Rich.

Finally, both of them had reached a level of maturity that her father

Felt it was the right time for them to have a relationship.

Rich on the other hand had matured so much that he was able to recognize

That he was in the middle of school and still hadn’t gotten his life together enough

To make a stable foundation for their love.

So instead, they became friends again. Just friends.

They carried on a solid friendship, even though going to two different schools,

For quite some time.

Finally, the Christmas before college was over,

Rich was celebrating with Christy’s family and he told her he had given her

A tree to plant in her front yard.

When he went to dig the hole to plant it, her purposefully hit the box.

He unearthed this treasure trove she didn’t know about, and gave it to her.

Her Christmas gift was Rich returning all his love to her

In the form of all the letters she had to forget about nearly four years before.

The extra letter that she’d never read?

That was the best surprise of all for her.

It was a marriage proposal.

Fun fact: at the time she received that proposal, they were actually best friends

and not traditional “lovers”.

In fact, they hadn’t been “going out” at all up until then.

In my humble opinion, the best love stories unfold when two people

are best friends to begin with.

Why do I love this story so much?

Well, isn’t it obvious?

Mine sort of mirrors it.

In 2009, a boy and a girl meet and fall in love.

They are (older than the two in the book but) “just kids”.

They don’t have careers yet, they don’t have their lives “together”.

They aren’t really cut out for a serious marriage-bound relationship.

And though no one sits them down and tells them

“it’s time to break up until you’re more mature”

God and life told them that through many signs.

After two years, when they thought they were ready to talk

About getting married,

Many things fell apart and they began to argue quite frequently.

They weren’t on the same page about most things

And had a lot of notions that weren’t very practical.

Worst of all, God wasn’t the center of this romance.

So together they realized the best thing was to break up.

There was a point that was so low after the break up,

That they couldn’t even be friends.

Their families told them not to have contact with each other at all.

Both of them were too angry and too hurt to be friends

And contact only made it hurt more.

Neither one could heal and grow while hung up on the other.

It seemed that it really was “over” permanently.

In fact, advice to the girl was to meet new guys and move on.

God had other plans.

Just as the girl was healing and growing close to God again,

She started praying for God to eventually show her a new man

Whom she could spend her life with.

She expected to meet him later on, maybe in the next few years

Or maybe a decade later.

It was God’s timing.

Instead, He brought her back the boy she’d loved before.

He was like a new man and stronger than ever.

The time apart was just what they needed.

Instead of falling in love and throwing caution to the wind,

like they did before,

They became best friends (and a little more).

Only then were they able to go on the journey towards marriage.

After maintaining a healthy, God centered friendship and love

(without selfishness and fighting) For awhile,

They were able to decide to plan a wedding

And have the support of their families, community and friends.

It is all falling into line perfectly,

And best of all it comes with a warm, happy energy that is only felt

When something has been willed and blessed by God.

Most people don’t come back from the point of no return.

They must move forward and let go.

Every once in awhile, it is this obedient act of moving forward

When God is coaxing you away from something you hold dear...

That results in a happy ending in which that person returns.