We're gladly doing this the hard way

In case y’all didn’t know,

I am preparing for a wedding.

It will take place in the church where I have been a member for over seven years. The reception will also take place in the church’s facility. There is much to be done, and much to be paid for. There are seating arrangements, decorations, bridesmaid dresses, a dress for myself, food for noshing and much more.
It will be a proper wedding day celebration that everyone can enjoy, that makes for a precious memory not just for the groom and I but for our families and friends.

I’m also preparing for marriage.

In my spare time, alone, it involves prayer and research in marriage enrichment books. For ideas how to always put that special someone first and make him happy and make him feel all God’s love coming through me and blessing him. Those books also cover topics such as how to pacify an argument or how to address something he is doing that upsets you, without hurting his feelings. There is much talk of understanding his love language and communicating about money and children. And that’s just the part that I do on my own time.

For us together, there are two “classes” we are supposed to take.
One is offered by my church, a one-on-one format with an established married couple, for six weeks to go over some of the same topics in my books. It is a test of spiritual compatibility.
The other is a four hour course administered by a licensed counselor and recommended by the county clerk of court. First, you must read the family law manual and then answer questions to prove you understand the legal portion of marriage.
They are two different courses but they have a few things in common:

1)      They are marriage centered

2)      They have homework and studying to be done

3)      There is a final exam at the end and you must pass it to get the certificate of completion.

Without the certificate, we could still get married. But life would get harder. If we fail the county course, we have to pay more and wait longer for the license. If we fail the church course, they could decide it is best to decline our request to have our ceremony officiated by them. It’s kind of like when you’re a teenager and dad hesitates to give you the keys because he knows you haven’t really mastered driving a car. He’s trying to prevent a crash that would hurt one or more people and be expensive to fix. Essentially that’s what the church and the county are doing- trying to prevent you from causing a “crash”. The county wants to prevent you the expense. The church wants to prevent you the “getting hurt”. If we did fail the tests, we would be wise to take a moment to contemplate why. It wouldn’t be their fault, it would be ours for not being on the same page about things.
Thankfully, I am marrying my best friend. I love him and I really want to spend my life with him. I have complete faith that we will conquer the exams.

Now, after reading all of these things we are going through to be able to call ourselves “husband and wife”, you may be wondering “Why go to all that trouble? There are shortcuts!”

Well, that is true. There are shortcuts. We could just have a justice of the peace take care of it in the middle of the night while we are in our sweatpants. Or we could forgo anything that comes with a fee or a license and shack up with both of our names on a permanent lease, put on a couple of cheap rings and just tell everyone that we are married. (Though technically common-law marriage isn’t recognized here in Florida and it wouldn’t get us any merit from creditors or anyone else we were doing business with.)

So why are we doing this the complicated way?

Simple. Marriage was created by God for a man and a woman to be bound as one for life. It is holy and as a Christian, we feel it should be treated as such.
The church and the county have turned marriage preparedness into a pass-or-fail course most likely to remind us that just as studying to pass a test is hard work, marriage is hard work when it is respected and handled properly. It is hard work but rewarding work.

We could cut corners and act like we are married without the taking the proper legal steps, but we choose to take the courses and get the certificate to aid in getting the license so we can also update other information on file with the government, like our social security and our tax forms and we can get insurance that matches our needs too. We will take that same license to church so they can legally officiate the ceremony. Everyone will witness that milestone moment in time as will God. The bible says:
“1 Obey the government, for God is the one who put it there. All governments have been placed in power by God. 2 So those who refuse to obey the laws of the land are refusing to obey God, and punishment will follow. 3 For the authorities do not frighten people who are doing right, but they frighten those who do wrong. So do what they say, and you will get along well”- Romans 13:1-3

Gladly, with obedient hearts, we will follow this commandment in the bible and do all of the little legal steps, fees included. If we follow what is in His word, we are following Him. And concerning that, the bible says:
“Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.” John 14:21

To summarize: we are loving God with our actions. When we love God, we follow Him and seek Him out (just as you would a person that you love) and when you do this, you go down a path in life that can be challenging at times, but ultimately rewarding. I know this because the same bible also says:
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

All things work together for good when you love God? And to love God you follow his rules? And when you do all the legal steps required of you to follow one of his rules (properly become husband and wife), you follow His rules too?

If you put 2+2 together, the “4” is that given that you keep following God once you are married, your marriage will work together for good… in other words, it will be blessed. Yes, God blesses what honors and glorifies Him, namely actions.
"If anyone serves me let him follow Me and where I am there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor." John 12:26

All of the paperwork, fees, reading of manuals and energy spent is a small price to pay for a lifetime of blessed marriage.